In Bed & Rambling

Today I had to exercise real tolerance in the face of pure douchebaggery.  My good boss is out of town for business over the next few days, so that means Psycho boss gets that much more psycho.  He was looming in the lobby area today and would just stop and stare at the front desk where one of my front desk staff and I were working.  His priority for the week, decorating the office for Halloween.  Of course it's not repairing the ceiling that was damaged when the upstairs bathroom floor leaked...it's definitely not sitting down and putting our sales numbers into the bonus calculations so the staff know how much their quarterly bonuses will be (something I've already done on my own, but I'm keeping my real numbers to myself to see how much he's been slicing off the top for himself over the years).  I just don't understand how a court case between two small business owners can go on longer than it takes for two airline giants...or two megabanks to merge into one.  I think it's painfully clear to me now that I may not outlive the bullshit that is Psycho boss and I may just have to cut my losses and move on.  I never like walking away from something that feels so unfinished...but for sheer sanity, I'm beginning to think I have no other choice.  Blurgh.  

On better news...Mr. and I had a lovely evening last night.  Just some pure and simple couch time chatting about life, plans, and inspiration.  Never a moment without a laugh and a genuine kiss.  I am madly in love for the first time in my life.  The real deal.  No fear...all out love.  It's amazing how much time I've spent on what I thought love was...not that I feel that was wasted time, just merely a learning point to have a comparison to.  You have to step on a few loose rocks when you cross the stream, before you step on one that you really feel safe on...the one that will really help you get across the water.  I'm grateful for those lessons, and very grateful I was aware enough to be open to what's become such a great gift in my life.  Now...getting all the other pieces to support the same amount of stability I feel in my  love life would be just peachy.  Isn't that what we do everyday...just try to get all our puzzles in one line...to have all the pieces fit together...without having to force one, or fill in the gaps with puzzle putty. Just a smooth solid piece...all working to make a picture worth framing.  It sounds so much easier in print than it is in actual time and space.  Gah...lifes a bitch ain't it.  

Tomorrow is my last day before I am off for a solid 5 days.  First time in a long time!  then just a few short weeks before Thanksgiving...when I get another 5 days off.  Maybe the new year will bring a new career. If I could write for a living that would be amazing.  How do people get jobs like those.  Restaurant critic jobs...Club promoters...Travel Journalists...a job that I could wake up, have a cup of coffee, sit on my patio with my dogs, and make money.  Sign me up for that last one stat!   When my friends hear my stories they're always commenting on the crazy shit I've done and how many lives it seems I've lived.  I honestly think I'm just starting.  I feel deep down that I'm just barely scratching the surface, which is why I never can get too deeply rooted in one particular career path, because then I'd be too committed and "all in" so to speak that I'd miss the point where I should fold that hand and find the next one to bet it all on.  Am I at that point again in my life?  Is the next adventure the big one?  All I know is that I've got an amazing man to share my ideas and who is so full of creative fire that I'm sure to be sparked into something inspirational.  I've just got to convince myself that I'm worth it and that I'm not afraid fall on the way.  

Sweet dreams - Rin