I'm Back & TGIF

So, I have been on the quiet side since my vacay ended on Wednesday.  I had an amazing time.  We just enjoyed each others company and loved time out of town.  The beach was quiet and gorgeous, and just cool enough to wear a hoodie and walk the sand looking for shells with a coffee...I love that! Falling in love more every day.  Luckily, so is he...so we're all good in the hood on that front!  We shared more childhood stories, grandparent stories, and barely stopped laughing the entire time.  So, it was a winning time off and it definitely will be the first of many trips down to my parents beach house.  While it was a surprise right up until the day of, when his brother asked me a bit too loudly from across the room whether the house was right on the beach or not...blurgh!  He was still excited.  

My return to work was not so joyful on the other hand.  I'm trying not to let it weigh me down a second day in a row, but it is taking some bounce out of my step.  The douchebag owner apparently negated the other owners commitment to include me in the teams bonus program, despite the fact that my job is completely focused on increasing business and facilitating the teams ability to do their jobs and ultimately bonus.  I could essentially blow their ability to bonus by not scheduling them effectively, not sending them home early on slow days, managing inventory poorly, not following up on customer needs, etc.  So, that was a blow considering it was a written offer with my last review and raise.  All I get are excuses based on previous and upcoming scheduled court dates revolving around the continued battle over the business.  Leaving me stuck in the mud right in the middle of the shit swamp.  I basically let my good boss know that in an effort to maintain my sanity and not bank my future on empty commitments that are never kept, I was actively seeking other employment opportunities...and while I hoped I could outlast the trial and see the day that douchebag actually no longer has any involvement, I couldn't rest my future on the hope that it will actually ever happen.

So, I came home, and blew up the web with my resume.  I'm just drained emotionally from the entire ordeal.  I'm fairly certain not many people, if anyone, have had to sit on a court witness stand and testify against a former employer, and then have that employer back at the office the next day and working as if nothing happened for 3 months while the courts decided which boss should get the business and how to divide it.  I've just kept working my best to build and grow the business, and in the last quarter we blew plan away by almost 25% above plan.  So the last thing I needed to return to after all that's gone on is finding out that no one is batting for me, no one pushed to ensure that i didn't get screwed out of a bonus program that was in writing and very clear cut in how it should be calculated based on our % above plan.

  So, I'm done batting essentially.  I'm doing my job, but not burning myself out. Finished early, so i left early today. If I move on to something bigger and better before resolution happens, then that's what's meant to be.  If i do my job while I'm there, and leave it at the door when it's time to go, and have the joy of seeing douchebag empty out his desk and walk away, then great.  Either way I have to trust that I will end up where I'm supposed to end up.  I just cant go to sleep thinking that I have no pies in the fire so to speak out in the job world.  So, Mr. came over after my shitastic day yesterday, and all the bs just rolled right off my back the minute he walked in the door.  Having his support through all this has been so beneficial.  I love his take on things and his ability to refocus me on what's important.  I trust that we'll both find positions or create them where we can focus on building more time together and making way for even bigger and better vacations.  

So, that's where I am now.  Walked my boys in the crisp air, unwinding from today, and on my way out to meet Mr. for dinner.  I hope everyone's weeks were as amazing as my vacay, and not nearly as shitty as my Thursday. Peace etc. - Rin

In Bed & Rambling

Today I had to exercise real tolerance in the face of pure douchebaggery.  My good boss is out of town for business over the next few days, so that means Psycho boss gets that much more psycho.  He was looming in the lobby area today and would just stop and stare at the front desk where one of my front desk staff and I were working.  His priority for the week, decorating the office for Halloween.  Of course it's not repairing the ceiling that was damaged when the upstairs bathroom floor leaked...it's definitely not sitting down and putting our sales numbers into the bonus calculations so the staff know how much their quarterly bonuses will be (something I've already done on my own, but I'm keeping my real numbers to myself to see how much he's been slicing off the top for himself over the years).  I just don't understand how a court case between two small business owners can go on longer than it takes for two airline giants...or two megabanks to merge into one.  I think it's painfully clear to me now that I may not outlive the bullshit that is Psycho boss and I may just have to cut my losses and move on.  I never like walking away from something that feels so unfinished...but for sheer sanity, I'm beginning to think I have no other choice.  Blurgh.  

On better news...Mr. and I had a lovely evening last night.  Just some pure and simple couch time chatting about life, plans, and inspiration.  Never a moment without a laugh and a genuine kiss.  I am madly in love for the first time in my life.  The real deal.  No fear...all out love.  It's amazing how much time I've spent on what I thought love was...not that I feel that was wasted time, just merely a learning point to have a comparison to.  You have to step on a few loose rocks when you cross the stream, before you step on one that you really feel safe on...the one that will really help you get across the water.  I'm grateful for those lessons, and very grateful I was aware enough to be open to what's become such a great gift in my life.  Now...getting all the other pieces to support the same amount of stability I feel in my  love life would be just peachy.  Isn't that what we do everyday...just try to get all our puzzles in one line...to have all the pieces fit together...without having to force one, or fill in the gaps with puzzle putty. Just a smooth solid piece...all working to make a picture worth framing.  It sounds so much easier in print than it is in actual time and space.  Gah...lifes a bitch ain't it.  

Tomorrow is my last day before I am off for a solid 5 days.  First time in a long time!  then just a few short weeks before Thanksgiving...when I get another 5 days off.  Maybe the new year will bring a new career. If I could write for a living that would be amazing.  How do people get jobs like those.  Restaurant critic jobs...Club promoters...Travel Journalists...a job that I could wake up, have a cup of coffee, sit on my patio with my dogs, and make money.  Sign me up for that last one stat!   When my friends hear my stories they're always commenting on the crazy shit I've done and how many lives it seems I've lived.  I honestly think I'm just starting.  I feel deep down that I'm just barely scratching the surface, which is why I never can get too deeply rooted in one particular career path, because then I'd be too committed and "all in" so to speak that I'd miss the point where I should fold that hand and find the next one to bet it all on.  Am I at that point again in my life?  Is the next adventure the big one?  All I know is that I've got an amazing man to share my ideas and who is so full of creative fire that I'm sure to be sparked into something inspirational.  I've just got to convince myself that I'm worth it and that I'm not afraid fall on the way.  

Sweet dreams - Rin 

Thursday Teasers

These guys know how to play the tease card...really well I might add.  It's like a bird feeder out in the winter, with no bird food in it.  It's the same way I feel about Thursdays...you so want it to be Friday, but at the end of the day you just have to face the facts that it's not.  This means tomorrow's post is gonna have to have some hotness fo sho!  Which one do you wanna see peel it off the most?  Do share, I'm super curious.  

nuhmahstee biatches - Rin

Teaser 1

Teaser 2

Teaser 3

Teaser 4

Teaser 5

Teaser 6

Teaser 7

Teaser 8

Tattoo Tuesdays

Every Day I'm Shuffalin, Shuffalin!

Here we are on Friday...and i'm totally not feeling it.  What happened Friday, what did I do to disturb our amazing friendship?  We've been raging for the last few weeks between great days at the office, team moral on high, and topping it off with happy hour and long nights on the town.  Now, I'm here unable to go to the outdoor show cuz it's so hot i'll melt faster than an M&M stuck in Dolly Parton's tits. I have a few people I'd like to hang out with but they're either out of town, or had plans.  The week of sick employees roles on into the weekend too, so I have to cover tomorrow morning.  It's like I wanna take the week and say, "Oh no you dih-int!"...then move on and get into a better one tomorrow.  Yes, tomorrow i'm starting a new week, forget the calendars line up!

Tomorrow after work I will figure out what's going down and by then may need to hit the clubs for some dancing and manscoping.  Hopefully it's not as hot tomorrow night so that I don't melt on my way into the bar.  I could just fill a camel pack with rum and diet and make it from the car safer that way.  You know what though...i have internet!  So take that Friday!  Booyah...I win!

On other notes:  I ran into a personal trainer at the gym yesterday that I see everytime I'm there and I've actually run into him around the area too.  He's always been super nice and friendly.  (get your heads out of your pants, I'm not about to say I am hooking up with him).  He came up to me on the way out and said...you know when you're ready to really ramp it up dude, i'd totally take you on as a client.   I laughed at first...cuz he's built like a dark chocolate brick wall with guns the size of bowling balls...and that was my first nervous reaction.  Then I composed myself and said that I've been thinking about it but was trying to slim down a bit more before I do the building up.  His response was more classic than I could ever come up with myself: "I'll break you down AND build you back up."  Ok, yes, in the contexts of a gay porn...we'd be fucking sprawled over the stairstepper 2 minutes later...but once again, life is not a gay porn.  He's straight folks...with an adorable girlfriend who I wanna take with me shoe shopping. So, I walked away thinking...I can do it my way and possibly limp along and see results over the next 10 weeks....or I can sign up with him and in 10 weeks be so much farther along towards my goal...and feel that much more prepared to go all the way on my own.

So, tomorrow if he's there, i'm going to let him know I'm interested and see what the next steps will be and what his thoughts would be for a plan.  If I could have arms a quarter the size of his...i'd be stoked!  Plus, I think since I see him almost everyday when I work out, it would be extremely motivating to be doing what he set me up to do and I'd push myself more to prove I am following his plan.  So...that's the plan jan.  Gonna get this once fat kid that was too whiny and pathetic to hike up a hill at our family cabin into some serious full on shape.  Then, i'll figure out how to weed through the asshats and jackwagons to find my mr perfect and get swept off my hott ass feet.  :-)

Cheers to you and the start of a stellar weekend!
OH...P.S.  7 days and counting til my killer thigh tattoo is started.  It's big, it's beautiful, and you're going to love it!

- Rin