blog advertising is good for you Men-O-Night: March 2011

Thursday, March 31, 2011

Great Review on Best Gay Blogs!

Best Gay Blogs says:  "Here’s a blog with some of the hottest most erotic man on man and solo pics that I’ve seen on the net, and they always offer a twist of artistry."

I think that's pretty cool!  - Rin  

See the review here:  

Best Gay Blogs

Beastly Boys

Two of my favorite things together:  Hot Men and Dogs!  

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Fleeing From Betrayal

Betrayal is such a simple word
To be filled with so much vengeful power
It can pierce the heart like a soldier's sword
It can spoil friendships as grapes will sour

Not one person is immune
Not one heart strong enough to protect
Disguised as a sweet and simple tune 
The keenest eyes could never detect

Why waste time with mere disgust
Why base life on such things 
Free your heart gain my trust
I will open my own and spread my wings

If this is more then I may ask
Then simply turn back and leave me be
A good heart exists under your deceiving mask
The day will come for you to set it free

I have tried to support and be a friend
Nothing can be done to help you more
My pain and loss, time will mend
You must choose your path, jump and soar

I pray you pass safely through tomorrow
Finding the answers to whatever you seek
We are strengthened through our heartache and sorrow
Remember though, the days when you were weak

Our paths have crossed and I have grown
Aware of my vulnerability and youthful mind
No longer feeling completely alone
Others have proven to be good and kind

Desiring acceptance and untainted love
As I race towards happiness, I have to win
Flying swiftly in the wind I watch from above
As this nears the end, I have to begin 

Tattoo Tuesday

One of my favorite days.  :-)

Monday, March 28, 2011

MANdatory Mondays

One Piece at a Time

It's all coming together...slowly but surely.  I got my new place to live today...a stunning condo in the perfect location.  So many positives, I knew right away I had to have it.  Walking distance to friends houses, across from a running trail, and to top it off...a private, secluded rooftop patio off the bedroom.  I'm seeing a lot of fun times on the patio!  And to name one, I'll have a great tan and no tan lines.  ;-)

So, one chapter ends and another begins.  I'm thinking this chapter will have some great details...some i'll be able to share and others I may need to edit out.  Hung out with some new friends this weekend, and had a great time.  It's weird how the freedom of possibility brings so much more confidence and willingness to experience life.  I realize that the security I sought in my past relationship had at some point along the way become a cage.  Whether it was the insecurities of a distant partner, or just the wrong partner, or the desire to have that storybook relationship...partner, house, dogs, a routine.  The routine had swallowed me whole.  It extinguished the fire that I know I've felt before and I'm already beginning to feel again.

It's as if the joy that I've rediscovered even masked the fact that it was Monday today...amazing, I know!
Here's to a great week, and more enlightening experiences.  

Saturday, March 26, 2011

Time Flies

As I recall promising myself I was going to get on here and make a post each day, I'm realizing another week has flown by with a few days missing on the list.  But sometimes, failed goals mean you're busy enjoying a little me time!  I think i'm on the road and it feels great...wind in my hair, moonroof open, and the radio is cranked!  I'm starting to look for a place to live...who knew I would be so excited for a 1 bedroom place after years of sharing a big house...but I am.  It'll be my little place.  It's been almost 10 years since I've truly lived alone since I had room mates most of my time out west before moving in with my ex.  The freedom almost has me giddy thinking about it.  I'm already planning my house warming party menu.  Wow, that sounds so gay.

Anywho, I've been dating and meeting new friends...and making sure I'm spending the time with the friends that are truly supportive and honest.  I think in the past, whether it was stupid youthfulness, or just the rush of life, I've  gone times where I was able to always express how much my friends had meant to me.  Reconnecting and reaffirming old friendships...and strengthening new ones...has me in a place of really examining how precious true friendship is.  I just hope that I'm able to always be as supportive and caring as my friends have been to me through my recent break-up and life stressors.  Now that my route is lining up and becoming more clear, I'm able to just enjoy where it takes me.  I think the rush of a new date and the possibility in the experience is exhilarating.  Even if it ends up not working out, that flash of responses and nerves awakens everything inside you.  Like skydiving...but on a slightly less flashy and less expensive scale.  And when a date goes well, that natural high is overwhelming almost.

In the spirit of rediscovery, I am also re-committing myself to P90x.  The last time I started I made it through week 6 but was overcome by a cold and then just the schedule and internal doubt.  I think my new found freedom and the excitement of this new chapter in my life will carry me through the 90 days.  I am confident that I can visualize the end and how proud I will be of myself and how rewarding the outcome will be for me personally and physically.  I've already been losing weight with just a change in diet, portions, and overall view of why I'm eating what I'm eating.  I no longer feel the need to eat when I'm bored, anxious, or just unsure of what I should be doing.  I am eating for my life and energy.  As the say...Eat to Live, don't Live to Eat.

I'll keep you posted on my P90x Journey...and maybe one of these day's with some luck, i'll make it onto the Tattoo Tuesday wall.  :-)

Monday, March 21, 2011

MANdatory Monday

Rolling with the tide...

So many emotions, so little time to figure them all out.  With so many crazy things happening in the world, affecting so many people, it almost feels wrong for me to mull over my life's decisions.  I'm starting over, but without the physical wave or's as if that's what's going on inside me.  My stomach is twisted in knots, and seemly at the most unexpected times.  I wake up as if I have already had 2 shots of espresso and the after buzz headache.  I get lost in thought, but have no resolution.  And the ups and downs of it all are beginning to exhaust me.

I'm hoping that once I move out on my own, and we're not sharing the house where so many memories are sitting around staring back at me are, that I can just release some of this anxiety and unsettling feelings.  I feel like my ex is trying to be nice, so he can see me fail and be there to watch it all unfold.  I find his efforts at keeping up some sort of routine from our past to be sickening.  I think he enjoys the routine without the effort.  I want someone who enjoys the shared time even when it's work.  I hope I find that person who can commit to life's ups and downs...and who knows that it takes two people working on themselves to make a truly healthy relationship last.

I hate when I get in these funks...I know tomorrow will be better, or at least different.  I just have to keep plugging along and figure it out along the way.  My personality is so driven to just fix it now, visualize the ultimate solution, plan the operation, and commence attack.  But sometimes life doesn't work like's more fluid, you have to let it go and find out where it's taking you.  That makes me anxious!  Gah!  I guess I'll just go dancing again this weekend and burn off some of this pent up frustration.  That'll be something to look forward to.

Morning Joe

Even with a cup of coffee waiting...this would keep me in bed for a longggggg time!  How would I ever get anything done?    I'm willing to risk it and try.

Happy Monday.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Sunday Supper

What an intense week.  So intense I am just now opening my laptop at home since the last post a week ago.  I think the fact that last weekend was so amazing, was one of the reasons I was able to make it through the stress and emotions this week had in store.  It's amazing how your life can get so upturned in the midst of other peoples life drama.  Luckily, my friend's divorce went their way, and I was not called in to testify in the end.  I am one of those people that fears doing wrong in front of authority, to the point that being pulled over for speeding almost throws me into a shaking fit.  Of course I love a hot guy in a cop uniform, but I'd prefer to be dating him, than getting pulled over by him.  So the idea of having to go up onto a witness stand and testify in court was absolutely terrifying, but something I knew I would have to do to support my friend and make sure the truth about their situation was what came out.  The fact that they were able to still win, and I didn't have to testify, was a huge relief.

The bigger relief...this was tied to my job!  My friend and his ex own my workplace, and if he hadn't won his case, I would have been scrambling to another job.  So, despite the stress of the week, at least one of my pillars in life is solid and becoming more grounded.  With a solid and advancing career, I am much more secure in moving and settling in to single life.  Living with an ex is a situation I always said I would never do, and here I am doing it.  Life between us is civil, but obviously not comfortable or supportive of moving on.  But with 8 years of stuff, two dogs, a cat and figuring out how life is going to work in the process of it all means that the situation is what it is.  I am moving forward and making sure i have my support systems in place.  I realize that the balance I was working so hard to be sure my ex-partner had in the last year, was actually what he wanted as a means to create his life without me.  It's amazing that my life was so on hold for him, and now I'm just playing catch up.  

I think the final move into my own place, with things set up for me...will be that step that breaks my doubt and  fear.  It was so weird having to tell my lovely neighbors today...I've been putting it off for 3 months.  I've avoided topics that they'd bring up, and just played it off...but today I had no other way to not share with them what was going on.  I will miss them terribly and I am hoping that now that I'm not moving to the West Coast, we'll be able to stay close.  I have decided this week that a shorter move, with less stress and financial burden is what I need to do now.  Keep some things job, general location, current friends...and if in a little while the west coast is still calling, then at least I'll be in a better place.  For now I am enjoying re-discovering the joys of being single, meeting people, and recapturing the joy that is life.  

I am committed to continuing to keep posting...and my goal this week is to post every day.  It'll take a lot of reminders in my phone, and possibly a few post it notes around my house, but I need to keep it up. 

For now though, I'm going to stare at some of these hot men.  :-) 

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sunday Supper

I had an amazing weekend.  It was freeing in so many ways.  While there are still so many unanswered questions on my plate, I feel like at least I was able to enjoy some freedom from all of the stress.  Having so many of your core pillars on unsolid ground is beyond consuming.  Love, home, and work...all seeming to be spinning around and I'm just waiting for one or more to drop into place.  But this weekend was about letting go and just having fun.  Dancing through the night with friends and meeting new people.  After so many years in a relationship, being out and single was almost intoxicating.

For now I'm relaxing and enjoying the remaining hours of the weekend.  This week will hopefully have some resolution to the waves at the workplace...and then the other pillars will find stability.