So, I have been on the quiet side since my vacay ended on Wednesday. I had an amazing time. We just enjoyed each others company and loved time out of town. The beach was quiet and gorgeous, and just cool enough to wear a hoodie and walk the sand looking for shells with a coffee...I love that! Falling in love more every day. Luckily, so is he...so we're all good in the hood on that front! We shared more childhood stories, grandparent stories, and barely stopped laughing the entire time. So, it was a winning time off and it definitely will be the first of many trips down to my parents beach house. While it was a surprise right up until the day of, when his brother asked me a bit too loudly from across the room whether the house was right on the beach or not...blurgh! He was still excited.
My return to work was not so joyful on the other hand. I'm trying not to let it weigh me down a second day in a row, but it is taking some bounce out of my step. The douchebag owner apparently negated the other owners commitment to include me in the teams bonus program, despite the fact that my job is completely focused on increasing business and facilitating the teams ability to do their jobs and ultimately bonus. I could essentially blow their ability to bonus by not scheduling them effectively, not sending them home early on slow days, managing inventory poorly, not following up on customer needs, etc. So, that was a blow considering it was a written offer with my last review and raise. All I get are excuses based on previous and upcoming scheduled court dates revolving around the continued battle over the business. Leaving me stuck in the mud right in the middle of the shit swamp. I basically let my good boss know that in an effort to maintain my sanity and not bank my future on empty commitments that are never kept, I was actively seeking other employment opportunities...and while I hoped I could outlast the trial and see the day that douchebag actually no longer has any involvement, I couldn't rest my future on the hope that it will actually ever happen.
So, I came home, and blew up the web with my resume. I'm just drained emotionally from the entire ordeal. I'm fairly certain not many people, if anyone, have had to sit on a court witness stand and testify against a former employer, and then have that employer back at the office the next day and working as if nothing happened for 3 months while the courts decided which boss should get the business and how to divide it. I've just kept working my best to build and grow the business, and in the last quarter we blew plan away by almost 25% above plan. So the last thing I needed to return to after all that's gone on is finding out that no one is batting for me, no one pushed to ensure that i didn't get screwed out of a bonus program that was in writing and very clear cut in how it should be calculated based on our % above plan.
So, I'm done batting essentially. I'm doing my job, but not burning myself out. Finished early, so i left early today. If I move on to something bigger and better before resolution happens, then that's what's meant to be. If i do my job while I'm there, and leave it at the door when it's time to go, and have the joy of seeing douchebag empty out his desk and walk away, then great. Either way I have to trust that I will end up where I'm supposed to end up. I just cant go to sleep thinking that I have no pies in the fire so to speak out in the job world. So, Mr. came over after my shitastic day yesterday, and all the bs just rolled right off my back the minute he walked in the door. Having his support through all this has been so beneficial. I love his take on things and his ability to refocus me on what's important. I trust that we'll both find positions or create them where we can focus on building more time together and making way for even bigger and better vacations.
So, that's where I am now. Walked my boys in the crisp air, unwinding from today, and on my way out to meet Mr. for dinner. I hope everyone's weeks were as amazing as my vacay, and not nearly as shitty as my Thursday. Peace etc. - Rin
