Lounging Around

Last week was a long week...a doozy to be exact.  Isn't it just life to get you cranking along up hill...seeming like things are just peachy, then smacking reality in your face with a $2400 "routine maintenance" bill for your  vehicle.  Really?  I almost through up when the dealer called me with the news.  I know there are people in worse situations, and I am always grateful for what I have an what opportunities have come to me, but sometimes it's a bit much to swallow the bullshit and not want things to be a bit easier.  Of course they had my balls in a clamp, and not in a good way either.  They claimed I couldn't drive it out, so if I wanted to get a second opinion I would have had to deal with a tow, and more expense.  Of course the $3000 extended warranty I added when I bought the truck didn't include anything like this since it was "wear & tear".  So they called to see if I would approve the repair or not.  Sure, I don't approve the repair, I'd love to pay my monthly car payment and just use the car as a really large flower planter and park it in front of my building for my neighbors to enjoy.

So, out of the shit storm comes the ever present fact that Mr. is still my rock and always lends the stability and outlook that bumps come and go and we'll get over it somehow.  He truly is the first person in life that has been there for me in a way like no other.  Able to say exactly what I need to hear, and completely mean it.  Of course that just made me guilty for the pity party I had been throwing for myself, because I know there are plenty of people going through shit without anyone to back them up...but I've been there too, so I am one hundred percent grateful and appreciative of it all.  Just wishing life would give me a bit more time to get up hill before it kicks me in the balls.  I said fuck it, fix the shit and I'll pick it up when I figure out where I'm robbing peter to pay paul.  Wouldn't life just be easier if we all had a trust fund sitting waiting for stuff like this.  If all of our families thought long ago to make a little account for us that just sits accruing interest for lifes shit party to kick off...and just have it pop up and save the day.  Ah life...it's bitch when all you want is the beach.

Anywho, enough of that rambling.  In other news, I'll be taking donations to get Earl back...and hoping not to have to rely on installing video cameras around my house and putting it online.  lol.
We're just having a chill Sunday.  Slept in, walked the pups in the woods, and now i'm about to draft up the weeks grocery list.  Love the fall, but I hate the growing temptation to make big casseroles and crock pot meals that are not waistline approved.  But I think I'm going to say fuck it and just pre-portion them so that we not only have leftovers stocked, but I don't go without and then hit the point where I go full throttle.  We'll see...Mr. hates leftovers, so that's always fun to try to pass off in his lunch.  So, that's that.  Here's to another week coming up and hoping to get through it and still be able to float through to next payday...otherwise, I'll be on the corner in my short shorts.  :-)

Cheers - Rin

Friday MEaNderings

It's Friday and my second day off in a row without having to be out of town or doing something work related...feels quite strange, but in a great way!  Yesterday I did all my baking and cleaning and so today is just going to be running the trail, lots of dog time, and a dinner party at a friends house.  My kind of day!  Of course I work the entire weekend, but at least I had what felt like a weekend.  And I can't complain because once Sunday night rolls in, I'm off for 9 days!...7 of which will be spent in sunny San Diego with Mr.  Can Not Wait!!

Of course as any true pet parent can attest...I am feeling the anxiety already of leaving my boys for that long. While I know the friends I have watching them love and care for them...I just worry that they'll feel abandoned or something will happen while I'm away.  But that's just me and my neurotic self...plus my dogs are the best...and I'll miss them probably more than they'll miss me.

This has been a bit of a wacky period between stressful work weeks for both Mr. and myself...and some weird family health stuff going on with some of my family members back home.  It seems that all is winding down though, so hopefully once we get outta dodge we can just "peace out" and have an amazing adventure.  Then when I get back from that awesomeness I will go full on into mission "Find a new job before this one kills me".  I am the kind of person that picks a career/job and sticks with it...digs in and makes it my own and creates a family of coworkers that make it awesome.  Unfortunately, in my current location my position is set for failure with the current line-up of support roles and team members and there seems to be a black cloud over the entire place.  There is a reason my role has had 5 people in it in the last 2 years...which of course no one told me until they shoved me in and fed me to the wolves.  This location was not on the short list when I was hired and I do at times let my mind wonder to consider where my head would be if I had been at one of the three places I was hired for...whether I would be digging in and having a blast like I did in my training location. Or if I needed this challenge to spur me on to something I really am meant to be doing.

One will never know...but I just have to take what I can and push forward.  I do know that at the current pace I will not survive the fall...let alone holiday.  I was pretty clear in my interviews and conversations with the upper ups that I wasn't seeking a position that would have a negative impact on my personal life and my ability to live outside of work...and that's just where we landed.  Between the erratic and exhausting schedule...to the constantly understaffed support network...it's just a never ending shit fest.  While I know that I use every minute of my day and I always leave with things better than I found them...I am tired of never feeling like we're moving forward and not constantly doing things over...and over...and over.  There has never been a period where things have set and moved forward and I'm beginning to realize that I think that is just how this location is with the volume and level set for it.  I here my peers in other locations talking about their routines and days they have set aside for planning and preparations...which is a joke in my location because if I'm not on the floor making shit happen...I'm already behind.  Planning happens at home for me...in the car...on my lunch.  And guess who's over it.  This gay...i mean guy.

Ok...enough bitching.  I am going to sit back, watch a little netflix with my dogs...go for a run...lay out...and relax the fuck out.  Here's to a beautiful weekend for everyone...and if you're hiring...I'll take it.

Cheers - Rin

            

Wednesday Wonderings

Today is a weird day.  I have the day off since I'm working this weekend...closing both Friday and Saturday nights.  Awesomesauce...or not.  But anywho, woke up and walked the boys.  Came back and crawled back into bed with Mr.  We slept another hour and could not get going from then on.  He went off to work and I went to meet up with a past coworker for some shopping and what nots.  It's weird how when I go out with the intent to spend, I always come home empty handed.  But when I'm out trying to be good I find shit I want but don't need. Oh well.

Came back and the weather all day has just been gloomy, a bit humid, and just not the kind of weather that makes me motivated to do anything.  I ended up napping a bit to take advantage of some quiet time, but woke up cranky pants again and decided to take the boys out on a longer hike to see if any of us could get going.   Came home from that in full on cleaning mode...so the walk was at least helpful in that dept.  Whipped out some cleaning, bathroom, floors, vacuum, kitchen, and dusted even too.  Now I'm pondering the next "to-do" or "to-don't" on my list.  I always try and make my days off productive when they're in the middle of the week, but why does there need to be that pressure not to just enjoy not having to do anything.  Is that just me, an american thing, or does everyone feel guilty for giving themselves a break and just being a bit lazy.  I guess lazy people don't mind, but I've never been one who has an easy time letting go of the never ending list of things I want to do, get done, experience, and so on.  Plus, sometimes I just feel guilty.

Anywho, I'm back up and running so I had planned a long run today...but when it's this humid and miserable, I just really hate getting out in it.  I'm hoping that the evening brings a bit of a cool down and at least not the muggy stuff that was going on when I was out with the dogs.  I can't run in that.  Other than these ramblings it's all just chugging along.  Kinda fuming about the North Carolina thing...but I had never planned to move south any time soon...but I would like to think that the US could move forward and  not keep taking these huge steps back in the world of equality.  It's kind of unbelievable when you think about it.  But if we're not educating our youth...they're just going to be as stupid and backwards as their parents, and that's just sad.

Mr. has been out a lot with work, workshops, rehearsals, and what nots.  Missing him, but very happy for his successes and his ever growing network of major possibilities and connections to greatness.  He's doing some amazing stuff for some pretty amazing people, and I think the skies the limit for him and his artistry.  In more ways than one too.  Maybe I'm destined to be his social media wizard and work from home and tour with him...I'd make a fucking amazing house husband for sure.  Of course I'd have to get used to doing a little relaxing by the pool...no one wants to come home to a stressed out house husband!

Ok, that's it for now.  Peace out and love the ones you love...regardless of what other assholes think.  - Rin

Saturday and Such

Again...after a long break I found some time to check in and post some thoughts and pics.  Things are grand in the man front...Mr. is still amazing everyday and I get more excited about the future for us each new day.  We are taking our first big trip this summer so planning that is in full swing.  Of course we're taking a few small weekend get aways before to get out of town and hopefully keep from getting bogged down by work and routines.

Speaking of work...what an adventure.  Roller coaster is more like it.  There are days I'm inspired and excited by all the possibilities that my recent jump into a new career has brought...and days I wish I could turn and run back to the comforts of routine and ordinary days.  Some of the downs in the coaster are working themselves out as team members that aren't pulling their weight drop off and we get new ones in that are excited and motivated to make changes.  Overall I think I am seeing change...slower than I'd hoped, but change none the less.  It takes time to affect a large group that has been left uninspired and underwhelmed for so long.  Building a team out of individuals never happens overnight...even if they've been working together for months or years in some cases.

My dogs are good...my old guy ages a bit more every morning and it makes me cherish every minute with him and makes me try to absorb every wiggle and every smile he shares with me.  No matter how old he gets he still bounces with excitement and jumps off the couch to greet me.  If only I had that energy about the morning I'd probably be much farther along in life.  I am back up and running on a regular basis...without the assistance of a treadmill and gym membership this time too.  The trail is always a harder run, but I'm pushing for a good summer on the beach free of the old doubts and insecurities that I've had since I was a chubby kid pretending I was afraid of the ocean so I could sit on my town with my shirt on.  Gone are those days, but the past has a way of creeping in at times and sucking a bit of the fun out of life...so I'm working hard to make sure that all is dealt with on the running path so I can focus on living now and being exactly where I want to be each day forward.  It's not always easy, but at least it's life...and I'm always grateful for every second.

Hope life is good in your world  - Rin

Shades of Grey

Two days into training and it's going well. I feel very confident in my prior experience and how it relates to my new role with a new company. I just have to absorb as much as I can during the training while not wanting to shoot myself each day with the added 2.5 hours of driving to my training location. So grateful I stuck with my guns and didn't let any locations that would have been a slightly long commute...knowing my farthest drive could be 9 miles is a relief...and not the 30 each way I'm doing for training.

But I have once again been very blessed to have Mr. and his help with the dogs. He's home before me, walks, feeds, and entertains them to the point that they're calm and content when I get home. Something that is no easy task for sure. So amazed at his ability to just take on things and not stress or get caught up in the action of it all. He's more supportive and positive than anyone I've ever been with...and I'm so grateful to have him in my life. I will gladly be making dinners, coffee cakes, desserts, and anything else he wishes for in gratitude for then support over the next few weeks. Not that I don't already do that...but you know.

Came home last night and pan seared some chicken potstickers from Trader Joes. So good! I made a miso broth with some sauteed bok choy and added that to a few dumplings in a bowl for a quick dumpling soup. So good on a cold windy night! And leftovers for lunch today too!

So, that's about it. Just trucking along. Hoping everyone is keeping up with their healthy new years spurred lifestyle changes and feeling good! - Rin